It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
