I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
