He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
