Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
