you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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