i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
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How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
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I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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