You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
