I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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