Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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