We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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