I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im six kinds of drunk right now
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
