where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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