dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
