Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
