Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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