4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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