I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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