I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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