does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
