There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
