cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He shit in the fireplace
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
