Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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