if i died would you start the facebook group?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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