Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
