It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
