you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize