I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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