? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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