There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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