party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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