I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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