Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
