My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
