bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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