i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
