please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
