Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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