Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
