All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
