I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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