And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
