Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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