party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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