pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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