Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
