it hurts more in the daytime
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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