We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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