I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Barsexuality is the new black.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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