There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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