I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
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