On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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