4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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