my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm gonna have a badass scar
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize