I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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