her vagine was all disorganized.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
