Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
