Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
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I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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