Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
