Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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