the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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