she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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