I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
