so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
do nipples grow back?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
