Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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