At least make sure they are 18
Why
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
