4 words: hood of his car
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
