I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
