tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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