please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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