Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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