Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
