it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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