I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
